Dear God,
Please Lord forgive me for my sins. There are so many of them that I wouldn't know where to start. So please just forgive them all. Anyways, down to brass tax. I started this prayer for a reason. I need to talk to you about the Steelers. Now God, I can't be held accountable for my actions if they lose. You may just have a couple of souls up there a little early if the Cards win.
Here is what I'm proposing. You make it an exciting game where the Steelers win in the end and I won't kill anyone. I'll stop drinking and driving(ha ha, he doesn't know that I don't drive). And I'll stop masturbating....all over the place.
In the name of Jesus Christ, who died for our sins, Amen.
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