Breaking The Law

Early February of 2001 was about the time that I was released from county jail in Pittsburgh after ninety days of rehabilitation. I couldn't ask for better weather. It was cold, snowy, and icy. That was just fine for this jail bird who had been released from his cage.
The old gang was about to be reunited with its missing croney. One thing I knew was that heavy drinking would commence shortly after my release. And it did. And it continued for several days until the shit house went up in flames.
Sunday nights in Pittsburgh, Pa are just as good as any other night to drink. Karoake bars are full of dreadful singing and easy women. Drinks are cheap and if you so desire you can be a rockstar for a brief moment in time. We were rock stars that Sunday night.
It was our turn to sing. The karoake DJ was calling for Vinny Jones and Benny Gonads. Two savage bastards that had no reason to be singing. Two drunks preparing themselves for a duet. The song was "Breaking The Law". We slaughtered the rebelious song, chugged a pitcher of beer a piece, and were ready for home.
The crew of degenerates piled in the car and took off into the night. We had no idea what was in store for us but we would soon find out. Benny Gonads, the captain of this ship, set his sails for home. Rough waters lyed ahead. The route that we traveled took us down a long and winding road. On one side of the road was a cliff that would surely take us plummeting to our death. On the other side was a terraced mountain. Stones were set in the wall to prevent erosion from wiping out motorist below.
The radio was blearing some punk band I've heard many times but can not recall. The car was flying around bends. Hysterical laughter filled the car like a thick smoke. Suddenly, everything came to a screaching halt. I remember saying to myself, "Are we here already?" I stepped out of the vehicle to find that the car was imbedded into the side of the mountain. Stones were toppled over onto the hood. The smell of radiator fluid sent a chill up my spine as it has countless times.
The scene of any serious car accident is one of confusion. How did this happen? Is everyone still alive? Where in the hell is the passenger who sat in front of me?
Time to figure this one out. The police would be on their way and time was a factor. We were missing our friend, Jody(passenger sitting shotgun), but after further inspection we realized he must have bolted from the scene. He was on probation and his carcass was nowhere to be found. A likely sign that he was gone. A tow truck magically came around the bend with no cop in sight. A sense of urgency came over benny and myself. If we were going to save Benny from a DUI, then the tow truck driver needed to work fast.
The chains were connected and the truck was pulling but the car wasn't budging. Not that easy to remove a car from the earth. Definately takes time which we had run out of. A cop came around the bend not expecting a car accident. Later the cop stated that he just happened to be in the area. Benny was arrested for DUI and I was given a ride home from the Man.
The police were able to assume from the impact and lack of tire marks that we were travling roughly 35mph when we struck the wall. There was no breaking. One moment Benny is looking at Jody and laughing and the next we were part of a wall.