Child Killed By Dildo

DesMoines, IA Dec.25 2008

Christmas will never be the same for the Johnson family again. Kyle Johnson, age 11, and neighborhood friend, Scott Thompson, also age 11, were snooping for gifts Christmas Eve when the unthinkable happened. Scott Thompson came across a vibrating, sex toy. The sex toy; a large, black dildo was turned on by Thompson. The boy lost control of the toy, due to lubricants that were caked on the member. The large, black cock took a funny bounce and hit Johnson in the temple killing him instantly.
Sarah Johnson, Kyle's mother, was taken into custody and released on Christmas Day. Detective Jim Dingleberry, the superior officer running the investigation, was quoted saying, "Accidents happen. I think the family is going through enough right now. Lets not forget that dildos don't kill people, people kill people.
Mothers Against Fake Dicks(MAFD) released a statement pertaining to the case. MAFD spokeswoman Sharon Peters was quoted saying, "We have warned the public about the dangers of fake dicks. Accidents like this will continue to happen. The parents should be held accountable. This is a very sad day. We need your support. Please write your local congressman and tell them the voters will not stand for the legal sale of Dildos in your district."
Funeral arrangements have been made and the public is invited. The wake will take place at the church of Latter Day Saints and he funeral will be at your MOM'S BITCH!