Shitting And Pissing In Funny Places

Ever since I was a child I have found it amusing and very entertaining to relieve myself in weird places. My fascination started in elementary school when I leaked the lizard right next to my 2nd grade teacher's desk before class started. She had no idea and either did my classmates. But I knew and it left me with a sense of satisfaction. The carpet bore a large stain and my teacher wondered how it got there.
Another time in highschool I had a human shield, consisting of other troubled teens, stand around me while I pissed on a desk during the middle of class. Let me tell you friends, it is hard not to laugh hysterically when pulling a prank of this nature especially when the teacher is in the class room.
When I was 12 I filled an empty Coke can with my urine and poured it on my friend's cousin while he slept. Why would I do something that cruel you may ask yourself. I don't know. Sometimes even I don't know how my mind works.
Pissing in random places evolved into the much funnier art of defecating in bizarre places. Places where people would never expect to see piles of shit. For instance, at the age of 18 and a freshman in college, I took a dump in the shower stall of our dormitory bathroom. I was awfully drunk and under the influence of drugs but that doesn't change anything. I would have done it sober in a heartbeat. I still imagine what the poor cleaning lady must have thought. I wonder how her face expressed her shock at the sight of my feces.
Speaking of pooping. I was 18 when I had my first apartment. There was a laundromat in the complex and it was open 24 hours a day. Now the laundry room had no cameras which was their first problem. Who doesn't have cameras in a laundromat? So one night while under the influence, me and a couple of buddies squatted and unloaded on the laundromat floor leaving three large, steaming piles. Laughter consumed our bodies to the point that it was hard to walk.
Shitting and pissing in public places is just what I do. If I know I can get away with it, chances are that I will. Maybe there is something wrong with my brain. Perhaps I am not entirely sane. But you have to admit, it is kind of funny.