ABC Hires All New Cast For The View

ABC's show "The View", known for its cattiness, has pulled a 180 degree turn on its viewers. Everybody from Barbara Walters on down to Whoopi has been fired and replaced with five beautiful women from Holland Michigan. The new panel consists of Kelsie Van Dyke, Kelli McDonald, Erika Jones, Mary Boonstra, and Jenna Voogd. Apparently issues over contracts and a drop in ratings was enough for Executive Producer Abraham Young.
Many have asked why these five and who are they? What are their credentials? According to ABC they have none. The media heads have decided to take a different approach and hire a group of friends to see how long it takes them to rip each others heads off. Young was quoted saying. "I think it's a great idea. I know these girls personally and if anyone can do it, its these five. We'll have them go from best friends to arch nemesis over night. The best part of it is that we save over $100 Million."
There is no decision yet on who will host and co-host the show. Rumors are flying around Hollywood and many say that Mary Boonstra has the job. Others say that "The View" is looking for a host with a more conservative manner and may go with McDonald having Boonstra as the outspoken side kick. Already Jones, Voogd, and Van Dyke have complained about thier fear of not getting as much of the spot light. An anonymous source has leaked information pertaining to salaries and has Boonstra and McDonald making $10 million more a year.
We reached Mary Boonstra and were able to quote her, "Listen dude, this is a once in a life time opportunity. We're all making moolah here. If those other bitches have a problem with how much I'm making, bring it." Erika Jones was reached for a comment and said, "Oh, its been broughten Bitch!"
This may be a ticking time bomb. How long will these young ladies be able to maintain? There will be drama and it will be entertaining.