The Joy Ride

Anyone who knows me will tell you that I am an alcoholic. I am aware of my terrible and unrewarding affliction. I remember clearly the day that this realization hit me. The morning of June 15th 1994 I awoke in the hospital at age 15. The night before I received or you could say earned a DUI.
My stepfather was out of town on business. This left dear old mom alone to supervise which she never really was good at doing. Earlier in the day myself and my friend Brad stole a case of beer from his father's beer distributor. Now we needed girls. Getting girls wasn't hard for a couple of horny teens who had beer.
The party started around 10:00 at night. My mother had gone down to her room in the basement to sleep. This left the first and second floor open for business. Our little girl friends came over and we had a pretty good time. Drinking, sucking face, and even a little pot. It was shaping up to be a good night.
It was around 2 in the morning when the girls finally left. The party was over and the beer was gone. "What to do", I thought to myself. That was when I made the most foolish mistake of my life and I've made some pretty bad decisions.
My parents Dodge Ram conversion fan sat in the driveway unaware of its death which would take place shortly. I hopped in the giant beast and started on down the road. My friend Tyler, God bless his soul, gave chase and caught up with me before I had a chance to get very far. He jumped in to convince me otherwise. I assured him that it would be a quick drive around the neighborhood. An hour later after driving all over town it was time to get back.
The whole time I had the van out I hadn't really tested her. I wanted to feel the power of the engine. I wanted to see what she was made of and so I did. I reached a residental road a couple of blocks from my home. At the end of this road you could take a left or a right but there was no going straight. At least not for normal motorist but I was hardly normal and not a legal driver to begin with. We were moving. The last I looked at the spedometer it read 95 mph. Then I looked up and realized that we were fucked.
At the end of this road was a house straight ahead that sat back from the road. The entrance to the driveway started off from my left and snaked down in front of me. I hit the curb and was airborne for 75 feet. When I landed it was on top of a car which shot out from under the van like a bullet. Next came the swing set which instantly crumbled. And then came the telephone poll which came crashing down on the van flatening it like a pancake.
When I came around the dashboard was lying on my lap. The doors wouldn't open so we had to climb out of the passenger side window. The first thing I said was, "Lets take it home and fix it." There was no fixing this vehicle especially when the engine was half laying on the ground.
The sirens were roaring and the residents were out in the street. The police were there within 2 minutes. Quick response time. They hauled me off in an ambulance. When the lights shut off I started singing "When The Music is Over" by The Doors. I wonder what the paramedics must have thought.
Later the police would tell me that if I had hit the curb a couple more feet to my right, I would have gone through the daughter's bedroom. Fortunately I didn't kill anyone. I wasn't even wearing a seat belt so I'm lucky that I didn't kill myself. One year of probation and $1000 in fines. Took it pretty easy on me.